Crime and Punishment

So our goal as parents is to ensure that our children are strong decision makers. With that in mind and considering the Taylor's age, we do not believe in spanking or striking. We believe that she should presented with options so that she can understand the causality in things. A little while ago, we began employing time outs. In our house, a time out is taken on a chair that resides in the living room. The duration of the time out is usually 10-30 seconds (an eternity for a child under 2), which is usually long enough time for a tantrum to subside and for the calm to begin taking effect. Taylor then apologizes to the being that she wronged and gives them a hug and a kiss. Timeouts don't typically happen often, especially when we can re-direct.

Early on, Taylor kind of liked being in timeout. She would climb up on the designated chair after committing an act that she knew to be wrong (hitting the dog, striking her parents, etc); but usuallly, the act was accidental to some extent. She would happily exclaim, "TIMEOUT!" and just sit there before either of us told her to do so. Most of those times we would tell her to just get down and that it was ok. However, if we told her "Stay there" she would begin the fountain festivities. These would typically end quickly, especially once we hugged it out.

Taylor then progressed to see that we are truly softies and realized that she can avoid a timeout by quickly apologizing. She began a short stint of committing her crimes and then quicly apologizing to her target. So she would immediately apologize to the Harley for kicking her with the apology coming during the follow through. She would say sorry to Chopper for sitting on him while still on top of him. During this time period, she also became a little more defiant to our request for action. We would say "Please Taylor come here and let me change you" only to be answered with a series of "NOs" and an ensuing chase. We realized that this is not a good path for her to take, as the purpose is to help her make better decisions. So now we present her with options if she starts to deny our requests; so if we ask her repeatedly to take a particular action and it is followed by her declining that action, we then present her with the choice to take the action or sit in timeout to think about it. We figured this would be a good use of our persuasive power and would tilt this ongoing power struggle in our favor. This worked off and on, but it seems that she too has evolved.

Taylor has decided that she holds the "X" factor that trumps any perceived power on our part. She can become "invisible". Now when presented with the option to go to timeout, she will quickly envoke her new power and hold her hands up to her eyes. Since we disappear, she assumes that she is hidden; and since we can't see her, she doesn't have to take the action prescribed. At other times, she will simply just close her eyes and turn her head and smile really big. Once again, "invisible" to all those who can't see her eyes.

Mommie and I are still trying to figure out how we can counteract this new found power of hers. But how can you argue with the unseen?.... more to come.